Humor

I’d had this theory for a while. Then Tim Denning’s post confirmed it.

A measuring tape is wrapped around a cucumber.
A measuring tape is wrapped around a cucumber.
Photo by Charles Deluvio on Unsplash

I’ve been sitting on this. (No pun intended.)

Dick pics. They basically all say something like I think this is pretty hot stuff, don’t you?

Does that ring a bell? To me, a writer looking to get my writing in front of people, that sounds exactly like the submissions process.

Getting your writing accepted is simple: ‘Just’ write what an editor is looking for. But it’s not easy.

Getting it on with a hottie is simple: ‘Just’ be what they’re looking for. But it’s not easy.

So when I read this post from writing phenom Tim Denning, something, well, boinged.

Tim described pitching famed podcaster, writer, and speaker James Altucher. He eagerly offered to…


‘Block and delete’ is NOT on this list.

A book opened to a page on the topic of Blocking/Deleting
A book opened to a page on the topic of Blocking/Deleting
Photo by Mika Baumeister on Unsplash

Ah, a notification of a comment not accompanied by applause from the reader.

Land mine alert.

How I love waking up on a bright summer morning to the smell of a fresh troll dump. Especially when a screed requires page scrolls.

A lot of people will say just ignore it. You see, especially for those of us writing in domains whose very existence challenges the status quo — gender equality, LBGTQ+ issues, disability rights, racial justice — letting a hurtful comment stand feels like tacit agreement.

Which does not jibe at all with why we write in these topics.

Ignoring…


Let’s stop guilt-tripping him like he’s let us down.

(Photo/the New York Times)

It came to light recently that Christian Cooper, the Black man who a white woman called 911 on, has “chosen not to aid” the prosecution by the Manhattan district attorney’s office.

The woman, Amy Cooper (no relation), is charged with a misdemeanor for filing a false report that an “African-American man,” as she repeatedly emphasized to the 911 dispatcher, was “threatening” her.

Christian Cooper appears to decline further involvement in the case. The New York Times reported him saying Amy Cooper has “already paid a steep price.” …


But keep doing it anyway.

A woman’s hands are poised over a laptop’s keyboard on a table.
A woman’s hands are poised over a laptop’s keyboard on a table.
Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash

My Inbox is filled with earnest, graphic-free letters from brands:

  • “We Stand with the Black Community” (17 emails with this title)
  • “Black Lives Matter” (10 emails)
  • “Taking a Stand for Black Lives” (5 emails)
  • “We Must Do Better to Combat Racism” (4 emails)

I’m sure your Inbox is, too.

As a Person of Color, hey, that’s cool. I did raise an eyebrow, but, I don’t mind.

I don’t mind that many brands have been posting, even if mostly because they see other brands posting. I get they can’t be seen as not with it. They can’t be seen being silent…


The “What’s next, fire Bart’s female voice actor?” retort falls flat.

The character Apu from The Simpsons is depicted doing a stereotypical palms-together “namaste” gesture
The character Apu from The Simpsons is depicted doing a stereotypical palms-together “namaste” gesture
Apu from “The Simpsons” by Matt Groening. Source: Fox

June is Pride Month. Like the mosquitoes that hound me on cue, no June seems to ever go by without the reliable “Why can’t we have straight pride parades?”

That is what I’m reminded of, as corners of the Internet are abuzz over the latest pop-culture development in inclusivity.

So The Simpsons chose June 26, a Friday — popular with newsmakers as the day of the week to drop stuff if you wish to minimize coverage — to float the announcement that going forward, non-white characters will no longer be voiced by white actors.

Much of the media accounts have…


It can hurt your relationship irreparably.

A man sitting outside with a hand over his eyes
A man sitting outside with a hand over his eyes
Photo by Jonathan Rados on Unsplash

My dad was annoying as hell when it came to Father’s Day.

I bought him something, he’d say I shouldn’t splurge and saving money was important. I made him an elaborate, special meal, he’d say the flavor could use X, Y, or Z.

“Whoa, that’s abusive,” some might say. Not really. Because I’d just shrug in response. Whatever. You suck at receiving gifts.

Since he passed a few—I refuse to count—years ago it’s been a challenge every May and June, as retailers invade my Inbox with gift ideas for someone I Can’t. Ever. Shop. for anymore.

Well, this is the…


A multi-voiced ode to the upcoming Fourth of July

A city boulevard burning
A city boulevard burning
Photo by Pawel Janiak on Unsplash

We stood for something

The world believed it

That something is now lost

How strange, we tried to be great.

Last breaths squeezed out, live on camera

Simple and indifferent

Like your thumb on an ant

They don’t have feelings

Do they?

You must “dominate” protesters

The president says to governors

A man named Chauvin heard those words

Before they were tweeted

Who looks weak now?

Executions are televised

Though revolutions still aren’t

“People are in the street looking for a brighter day”

Safer being tear-gassed than sitting on your couch

Or going out for a jog.

Death by virus…


On empathy and honesty when delivering truth

Meat skewers being cooked
Meat skewers being cooked
Photo by Luigi Pozzoli on Unsplash

A war has been going on since time immemorial.

Ever since humankind first coaxed our screeches and hoots into consonants and vowels, minting words that we eventually strung into sentences.

I’m talking about the war over delivering truth.

There’s the honesty-as-a-badge-of-honor camp, wielding truth as a weapon, and blaming the victim for “incurring” their own wounds.

Standing opposite those fearsome warriors is the tact-and-discretion camp. The diplomats.

As someone who’s been accused of being in the former faction, I most definitely deviate from their if you can’t handle the heat, get out of the kitchen anthem. (All right, not the…


Take these ideas and make a mom or two smile.

A little girl with a “mom” tattoo
A little girl with a “mom” tattoo
Photo by Jeremy McKnight on Unsplash

Mother’s Day 2020 will be the first ‘Hallmark holiday’ in our brave new world.

What is a daughter or son to do, if usual standbys like taking Mom out to brunch are off the table? Even for regions that have relaxed quarantine restrictions, the last ‘gift’ you’d want to get Mom is that which shan’t be named.

Fret not. The OneWeeker’s Gift Guide is full of tried-and-true gifts, starting from $10. (Don’t scoff. Cheapskates’ moms need love, too.)

We picked the most useful, rather than frivolous. As befit these tricky times.


Take a break from Netflix and try these world-class alternatives

Metropolitan Opera House at night, Lincoln Center, New York City
Metropolitan Opera House at night, Lincoln Center, New York City
Photo by Seth Hoffman on Unsplash

My friend Benjamin was so excited to meet up in New York. We hadn’t seen each other for fifteen years.

After he got over the oohs and aahs (“welp, I’m a country boy!”) the other requisite interjection landed: “everything is so expensive!”

Um, yeah.

It‘s expensive for tourists. It’s expensive for locals.

The “rent is too damn high”, the drinks are pricier than entrees back home, and a night out easily sets you back a Benjamin (sorry, Ben) or two.

And that’s what makes the lockdown such a bonanza¹ when it comes to cultural offerings. If you’re lucky enough to…

TY Liao

Political and social commentary. Travel. Tech. While it may not look like it, I’m nice.

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